So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
