Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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