turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
