like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
