My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
