im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
