I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
