i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
