It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
