I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
