If i come over, it means nothing
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
