Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
