Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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