GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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