THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
