How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I currently don't understand fingers.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
