this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
We are two peas in an std pod
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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