He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
It's rum buckets o'clock
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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