hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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