Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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