what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
