you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
