please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
