I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Randomize
