Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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