What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Randomize
