I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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