last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
