You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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