No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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