first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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