Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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