it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize