I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
