you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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