no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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