Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
