Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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