i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
