it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
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