I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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