I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
BRING THE BAGELS
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
