Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Randomize
