Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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