Have you finally orgasmed yet?
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize