Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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