I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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