And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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