and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
