How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
You're breaking my sexual little heart
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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