therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Randomize
