"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize