He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
did you just send me my own nude
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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