so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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